I stayed home with my girl. She needs me and I definitely need her. We both have had it rough since Grandma died. She more than me. I was distancing myself from the beginning. I didn't feel I could go through it again.
I can't help but think deaths come in three.
I keep having flashbacks on the others. Losing my grandma makes me want to communicate better with those I love.
My brother, was so solid through everything. I needed that. I just have to get through the funeral. The one funeral.
When I was lying on Grandma's bed, I watch her housedress hanging on the door, gently move. Emma wanted to bring the Ouija Board into Grandma's room and talk to her.
Edna's room was beautiful, she had a stack of photos for me in the middle of her dresser. I couldn't even look. Everything reminds me of her, I had no idea, I would miss her so much. Our relationship, was bittersweet, I knew she disapproved of my lifestyle. I am definitely the black sheep of the family.
I will continue to learn from Grandma's legacy, as I stumbled through her room, I felt their was so much more to this woman, she was so proud and difiant. To the very end she refused to be served or taken care of...my daughter watched her die...she said she kept moaning and moaning and her body was twisting in pain.
I miss her. She was so soft and sweet.
That's how I'll remember Grandma...Soft and Sweet.
She's resting now,
and I will sleep.